The feelings and thoughts of patients and families dealing with cancer change with the stages of cancer - diagnosis, treatment, and survivor- post treatment, survivor- continued treatment, survivor-facing death, and survivor-loss of a loved one. The Center for Cancer Counseling offers specialized support and tools & techniques to help patients and families deal with a "new normal" life along the way at each of these stages.
Diagnosis
As soon as the doctor says, ”You have cancer,”
our worlds are turned upside down. It feels like the wind
has been knocked out of us and it is hard to breathe. The
shock and fear are simply overwhelming.
Life as we once knew it is now overshadowed by the demands
of the diagnostic tests that tell us just far the cancer has
grown. During the first few weeks after a cancer diagnosis
many extremely important decisions have to be made. We need
to learn an entire new body of information to understand what
is happening. We need to choose a physician and agree to difficult
treatments that will hopefully save our life.
At the center we help you learn how to cope with all of the
emotions and life changes that accompany this new world. During
our individual one on one session we are able to talk openly
about our deepest worries and concerns.
For example, I am so angry, why me? Will people look at me
differently? I am afraid of dying; did I cause this cancer
by how I live, my stress, eating patterns? Could I have somehow
prevented it, done something different? I can’t stop
thinking about the cancer, I feel like crying all of the time,
I feel al alone in this nightmare, I feel like no one really
understands, I can’t believe this is really happening.
Treatment
Once the decisions are made and treatment begins, most of
us focus on surviving. The best we can do is focus on life
one day at a time, getting through the treatments and waiting
time out until we can return to our “real life”.
Since this treatment phase involves a fairly substantial
amount of time it’s very helpful to develop tools and
strategies to deal with our “real lives” in the
midst of the physical and emotional challenge, changes, and
side effects that the cancer and its treatments present.
It is during the treatment phase that people tell us things
like “ I did not realize how many emotions I was holding
onto”. “ It is so good to hear that what I am
feeling is normal” “ I don’t share the difficulties
in managing the treatments and side effects because I don’t
want to be seen as complaining”. “ It feels as
if I could spend everyday whining about how bad I feel”.
When people ask how are you I say” which life are you
talking about. In my life prior to cancer I’d say I
feel really sick, in this life I say not bad today”.
“: But I always feel better after I leave these sessions”.
“ I feel relieved”.
In addition to our struggles, our families, partners, children,
friends and co-workers need help in dealing with their fears,
concerns and changes in these relationships that the cancer
and the treatments bring along with them.
Family meetings help everyone talk about this cancer experience.
For the first time children ask questions. Partners talk about
feeling out of control and afraid. Couples discuss the changes
in their relationship and responsibilities, and work on how
to maintain their closeness and affection in the midst of
so many medical demands. For many couples this is the first
discussion about how their sex life has changed. For others,
this is the first time they have cried together or mourned
the loss of their life before cancer. At the center we help
you learn how to work together to cope and manage during this
very difficult time.
Survivor-Post-Treatment
Once the treatment stage is complete, new fears arise. What
if it isn’t all gone? What if it returns? Will we ever
feel like ourselves again? In addition, it is a bit frightening
to no longer have the protection of receiving treatments and
seeing the medical professionals on a regular basis.
The expectation is that life will just fall back to where
it was before the cancer. Everyone is taken back by the recovery
process and is impatient for life to get back to normal. Recovery
can look different and take longer than anyone had anticipated.
For many of us this is also the first time that we have time
to feel our emotions. Life is less hectic and feelings are
free to surface.
It is at this time that the Center can be of great assistance.
We understand how this recovery looks and can help you set
realistic goals and communication with your families and friends.
It is also at this time that we realize we are not done with
the cancer. Checkups will continue for a lifetime and sometimes
addition medications may need to be taken. Realizing that
our lives are now a “new normal” of living with
cancer is a big adjustment.
Survivor-Continued Treatment
For some of us, treatments become our “new normal”.
More and more people are living for longer periods of time
because of the wonderful advancements of science and the treatments
that are available. This is an enormous challenge and a difficult
one to adjust to.
There are issues around grieving for our former lives and
what feels like the loss of many dreams and wishes. Learning
to live in this new world and redefining your life is a major
component. At the Center we help us and our family members
accomplish these goals with the focus on being able to live
productive rewarding lives, filled with fun and satisfaction,
even with the addition of the treatments.
Survivor-Facing
Death
When cancer is terminal, our families and we are faced with
a crisis that no one can be prepared for. There are tools
that definitely help ease the emotional pain, bring families
closer and ensure that no one is left alone with their fears
and sadness. The Center can help guide us through this phase
and help you accomplish the best quality of life for as long
as possible. Family meetings are needed more during this time
than ever. This is the last opportunity to have some potent
discussions with each other. This is the time for families
to have precious memories together. We can help facilitate
these meetings so that all of the important things that need
to be discussed are covered.
Survivor-After the Loss
of a Loved One
Whether we are an adult, child or teen who has lost a partner,
sibling, parent, or child, the Center understands the special
challenges that grief present in these different situations.
Once again, life takes on a “new normal” that
can feel almost impossible to tolerate. The Center can help
you manage this process in ways that allow us to go forward
with our lives feeling more in control and enable you to help
the rest of your family. For example, kids and teens grieve
differently from adults. How to best help the kids is a specialized
service that we offer families.
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If you can relate to one or more of
these cancer stages, you’re not alone.
SET
AN APPOINTMENT AND LET HOPE BEGIN TODAY
BY CALLING 949.474.4337.
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